Yattanfig Talwad is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, benevolent hyena.

Yattanfig Talwad created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattanfig Talwad, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yattanfig Talwad, it will turn you into a slug.

Yattanfig Talwad's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Yattanfig Talwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not eat gooseberries.

4. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

5. Do not listen to music.