Badfarnstik is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, egotistical finch.

Badfarnstik created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Badfarnstik, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Badfarnstik, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Badfarnstik's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Badfarnstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Never write about special relativity.

3. Never think ill of sick snails.

4. Run away if eight sharks approach from the east.

5. Do not study enzymes on holy days.