Dudhudbig is a god.

It takes the form of a small, stupid turtle.

Dudhudbig created the universe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudhudbig, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dudhudbig, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Dudhudbig's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Dudhudbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midday.

2. Never paint your arms white.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always remove boots before touching silicon.

5. Never feed garlic to gulls while wearing cyan trousers.