Mutdavlimhon is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, fast gorilla.

Mutdavlimhon created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Mutdavlimhon, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Mutdavlimhon, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Mutdavlimhon's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Mutdavlimhon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt goats.

2. Never think about dark energy near pigs while wearing pink trousers and balancing six silicon spheres on your legs.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never think ill of sick moths.

5. Never eat pineapples.