Gonnibwot is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, almighty ferret.

Gonnibwot created the solar system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonnibwot, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gonnibwot, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gonnibwot's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Gonnibwot's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick foxes.

2. Hide from mauve dogs for they are unholy.

3. Never discuss enzymes in public assemblies.

4. Do not gather at doors at midnight.

5. Gonnibwot loves doves, so they must be respected.