Limgemcenbem is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, slow otter.

Limgemcenbem created Africa two billion years ago.

If you believe in Limgemcenbem, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Limgemcenbem, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Limgemcenbem's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Limgemcenbem's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Never eat gooseberries.

3. Never leap near grasshopers.

4. Never pray while filled with joy.

5. Do not place figs upon stone.