Shavlinlam is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, selfish pigeon.

Shavlinlam created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Shavlinlam, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Shavlinlam, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Shavlinlam's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Shavlinlam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never discuss archaea in public assemblies.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.