Beppinmum Podhigcud is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, bad-tempered octopus.

Beppinmum Podhigcud created the Sombrero Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Beppinmum Podhigcud, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Beppinmum Podhigcud, he will boil you in a big pot.

Beppinmum Podhigcud's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Beppinmum Podhigcud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant at rivers.

2. Do not kill manatees.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never eat grapes on holy days.

5. Always stare at clouds.