Cabtunlan Cebcudweg is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, conceited dryad.

Cabtunlan Cebcudweg created the planet Saturn three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cabtunlan Cebcudweg, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cabtunlan Cebcudweg, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Cabtunlan Cebcudweg's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Cabtunlan Cebcudweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of elders.

2. Always obey Cabtunlan Cebcudweg's priests.

3. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.