Labmintipwotcidbemripcib is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, temperamental cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Labmintipwotcidbemripcib created the planet Jupiter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labmintipwotcidbemripcib, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Labmintipwotcidbemripcib, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Labmintipwotcidbemripcib's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Labmintipwotcidbemripcib's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in the presence of elders.

2. Never handle lead while unclean.

3. Always wash your feet before prayer.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.

5. Never eat gooseberries on holy days.