Geportdit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, contented scorpion.

Geportdit created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Geportdit, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Geportdit, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Geportdit's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Geportdit's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to cruelty.

2. Do not prepare melons while wearing rings.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.

5. Never proclaim while facing north.