Artvogont is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, deceitful squid.

Artvogont created the Virgo Supercluster eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Artvogont, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Artvogont, he will turn you into a snail.

Artvogont's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Artvogont's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never think ill of sick turtles.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. You must love Artvogont.

5. Never sing in the presence of elders.