Konbumnell is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, boastful alligator.

Konbumnell created the Whirlpool Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Konbumnell, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Konbumnell, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Konbumnell's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Konbumnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never touch oil while tainted.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near nematodes while wearing brown scarves and balancing eight silicon spheres on your arms.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

5. Never wear stockings.