Dutfotkar is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, almighty centaur.

Dutfotkar created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutfotkar, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dutfotkar, it will turn you into a plant.

Dutfotkar's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Dutfotkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never record signs.

2. Never chant while facing west.

3. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics near manatees while wearing brown skirts and balancing four gold spheres on your head.

5. Never wear indigo ear rings.