Zograpzan is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, competent turtle.

Zograpzan created energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zograpzan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zograpzan, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Zograpzan's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Zograpzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from silicon.

2. Never record signs.

3. Never pray while filled with anger.

4. Do not gather at wells at dawn.

5. Never bounce in holy places.