Metbidjinmut is a god.

He takes the form of a small, smart armadillo.

Metbidjinmut created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Metbidjinmut, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Metbidjinmut, he will jump up and down on your head.

Metbidjinmut's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Metbidjinmut's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

2. Never discuss chlorophyll in public assemblies.

3. Never fashion tools from wood.

4. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

5. Always wash your legs before prayer.