Larnzakfot is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, uncaring jaguar.

Larnzakfot created the world four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnzakfot, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Larnzakfot, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Larnzakfot's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Larnzakfot's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Larnzakfot.

2. Worship no other gods but Larnzakfot.

3. Do not wear shorts marked with cyan.

4. Hide from indigo sheep for they are unholy.

5. Always obey Larnzakfot's priests.