Minyarttal is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, annoying dolphin.

Minyarttal created carbon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Minyarttal, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Minyarttal, he will turn you into a goat.

Minyarttal's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Minyarttal's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Shun those given to greed.

3. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always look after injured moths.