Xenbossvonk is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, dishonest mole.

Xenbossvonk created a Higgs boson three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xenbossvonk, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Xenbossvonk, he will turn you into a slug.

Xenbossvonk's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Xenbossvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always help tapirs in need.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not laugh in public.