Hakgetnak is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, witty wyrm.

Hakgetnak created Mount Everest two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hakgetnak, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hakgetnak, he will think nothing of it.

Hakgetnak's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Hakgetnak's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching iron.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never skip near nematodes.

5. Never feed lots of lemons to ants while wearing purple jumpers.