Ligtiglad Metfumxem is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, omniscient dingo.

Ligtiglad Metfumxem created Europe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ligtiglad Metfumxem, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ligtiglad Metfumxem, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Ligtiglad Metfumxem's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Ligtiglad Metfumxem's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not step barefoot upon orange earth.

3. Do not kill mites.

4. Always remove tights before entering holy places.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.