Affatgunyam is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish horse.

Affatgunyam created bats two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Affatgunyam, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Affatgunyam, she will turn you into a tree.

Affatgunyam's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Affatgunyam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

2. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

3. Never eat figs on days of mourning.

4. Do not wear coats marked with yellow.

5. Never think about special relativity near great tits while wearing brown trousers and balancing eight iron spheres on your chest.