Fitwipcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, witty grasshopper.

Fitwipcuss created the planet Jupiter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitwipcuss, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fitwipcuss, he will strike you with lightening.

Fitwipcuss' most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Fitwipcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Snails are not to be trusted.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

3. Fitwipcuss loves seals, so they must be respected.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.