Dogkapkam is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, confident jellyfish.

Dogkapkam created the Andromeda Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dogkapkam, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dogkapkam, she will turn you into a frog.

Dogkapkam's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Dogkapkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear kilts marked with mauve.

2. Never point your back toward the south during prayer.

3. Never think about electromagnetism.

4. Never pray while filled with pride.

5. Pray towards the east.