Zedlanten is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, blissful goat.

Zedlanten created matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zedlanten, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zedlanten, she will turn you into a slug.

Zedlanten's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Zedlanten's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always look after injured mice.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.