Pinwiprig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, omniscient cow.

Pinwiprig created the planet Saturn seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Pinwiprig, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pinwiprig, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Pinwiprig's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Pinwiprig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist order.

2. Do not kill gulls.

3. Always remove corsets before entering holy places.

4. Never speak of fate in the presence of priests.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.