Flapstikbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, two-faced tortoise.

Flapstikbiss created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapstikbiss, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flapstikbiss, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Flapstikbiss' most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Flapstikbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never allow mites to witness sacred rites.

2. Do not take Flapstikbiss' name in vain.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never write about cell theory.