Fitponfon is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, omnipotent faun.

Fitponfon created the world two years ago.

If you believe in Fitponfon, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fitponfon, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Fitponfon's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Fitponfon's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching zinc.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Fitponfon.

5. Never prepare parsnips during summer.