Cimmapgubgut is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, omnipotent hedgehog.

Cimmapgubgut created the planet Saturn five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimmapgubgut, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cimmapgubgut, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Cimmapgubgut's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Cimmapgubgut's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Shun those given to sloth.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.