Sitmadhak is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, able walrus.

Sitmadhak created water three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sitmadhak, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sitmadhak, he will send you a sign.

Sitmadhak's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Sitmadhak's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt ducks.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never mark doors with white.

5. Never record names.