Gablimtif is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, able spider.

Gablimtif created light two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gablimtif, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gablimtif, he will destroy your home solar system.

Gablimtif's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Gablimtif's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never record names.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

4. Never touch blood while blessed.

5. Never eat peas on fasting days.