Tapzenfag is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unjust deer.

Tapzenfag created a Higgs boson four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tapzenfag, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tapzenfag, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tapzenfag's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Tapzenfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lentils.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

3. Never pray while filled with joy.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always maintain humility during fasting days.