Jangumbod is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, uncaring crab.

Jangumbod created the planet Mars four years ago.

If you believe in Jangumbod, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jangumbod, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Jangumbod's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Jangumbod's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear red ear rings on sacred days.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jangumbod.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching copper.

4. Always maintain patience during holy days.

5. Jangumbod loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.