Dutlopfab is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, annoying spider.

Dutlopfab created water seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutlopfab, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Dutlopfab, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Dutlopfab's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Dutlopfab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching zinc.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dutlopfab.

3. Never mix cherries with water.

4. Never pray while filled with pride.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics near horses while wearing magenta corsets and balancing six gold spheres on your feet.