Catmoncum is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, annoying manatee.

Catmoncum created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Catmoncum, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Catmoncum, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Catmoncum's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Catmoncum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt monkeys.

2. Catmoncum must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Run away from orange snakes, for they are unholy.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always stare at clouds.