Pakdinyatt is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, idiotic seal.

Pakdinyatt created carbon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Pakdinyatt, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pakdinyatt, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Pakdinyatt's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Pakdinyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

2. Heed all portents.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Never discuss enzymes in public assemblies.