Sistaparn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, omniscient gerbil.

Sistaparn created tapeworms four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sistaparn, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Sistaparn, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Sistaparn's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Sistaparn's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Worship no other gods but Sistaparn.

3. Sistaparn loves whales, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not keep three tortoises in a large pit.

5. Never jump near mice.