Bissbedquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, sapient raccoon.

Bissbedquaf created a strange quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissbedquaf, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bissbedquaf, it will turn you into a mouse.

Bissbedquaf's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Bissbedquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your neck before prayer.

2. Always wear plain shirts during rituals.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never mark doors with yellow.

5. Never hurt porpoises.