Zenlatbap is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, sage lobster.

Zenlatbap created the planet Saturn nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenlatbap, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Zenlatbap, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Zenlatbap's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Zenlatbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at doors at dusk.

2. Do not wear scarves marked with pink.

3. Do not wear yellow clothing.

4. Do not consume strawberries at dawn.

5. Never write about gravity.