Limmatstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, strong gerbil.

Limmatstaf created Asia five million years ago.

If you believe in Limmatstaf, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Limmatstaf, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Limmatstaf's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Limmatstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five dogs in one place.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Hide from pink pigs for they are unholy.

4. Always wash your neck before prayer.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.