Zennurlmilcinwighad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, all-knowing squid.

Zennurlmilcinwighad created Asia three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zennurlmilcinwighad, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zennurlmilcinwighad, he will turn you into a sheep.

Zennurlmilcinwighad's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Zennurlmilcinwighad's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Zennurlmilcinwighad.

2. Do not wear platinum on your body.

3. Always store grapes above ground.

4. Never handle silicon while unclean.

5. You must never eat beans.