Dossquagbell is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, staggering parrot.

Dossquagbell created a bottom quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Dossquagbell, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dossquagbell, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Dossquagbell's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Dossquagbell's Holy Commandments

1. Remain bowed during prayer.

2. Pray only in shadows.

3. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. Always count to six before sleeping.