Paddaddog is a god.

He takes the form of a small, amazing ant.

Paddaddog created the Whirlpool Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Paddaddog, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Paddaddog, he will torture you forever.

Paddaddog's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Paddaddog's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Worship no other gods but Paddaddog.

3. Never think about chromosomes.

4. Always maintain purity during fasting days.

5. Erect five zinc sculptures of Paddaddog on top of important buildings.