Linquimshav is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, sage spider.

Linquimshav created dark matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Linquimshav, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Linquimshav, it will laugh at you.

Linquimshav's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Linquimshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow squirrels to witness sacred rites.

2. Never stain your hands with fawn.

3. Feed all hungry sheep.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Pray only in moonlight.