Bepcattik is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonest mongoose.

Bepcattik created a down quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Bepcattik, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bepcattik, it will turn you into a worm.

Bepcattik's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Bepcattik's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of dwarf planets aloud.

2. Always act with purity.

3. Never write about chromosomes.

4. Never mention porpoises.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.