Shavpangpark is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, almighty penguin.

Shavpangpark created humanity four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavpangpark, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Shavpangpark, it will not care.

Shavpangpark's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Shavpangpark's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bread.

2. Always remove stockings before touching tin.

3. Do not wear jumpers marked with gray.

4. Put Shavpangpark first in all things.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Shavpangpark in the centre of the settlement.