Ratcadrat is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, happy lizard.

Ratcadrat created life nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratcadrat, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ratcadrat, he will turn you into a mouse.

Ratcadrat's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Ratcadrat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist chaos.

2. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.

4. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

5. Never mix coconuts with ash.