Ortdotbap Tompodhit is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, capable whale.

Ortdotbap Tompodhit created the solar system four million years ago.

If you believe in Ortdotbap Tompodhit, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ortdotbap Tompodhit, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Ortdotbap Tompodhit's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Ortdotbap Tompodhit's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your face with purple.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not fashion tools from silver.

5. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Ortdotbap Tompodhit on top of all buildings.