Vogfetlan is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unselfish gnu.

Vogfetlan created snails three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vogfetlan, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vogfetlan, he will turn you into a hamster.

Vogfetlan's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Vogfetlan's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never feed apples to cats while wearing black kilts.

4. Never travel toward the south during summer.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.