Nigpasontzog is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, humane hippopotamus.

Nigpasontzog created Africa six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nigpasontzog, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nigpasontzog, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Nigpasontzog's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Nigpasontzog's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near foxes.

2. Always act with obedience when addressing elders.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Never pray while filled with joy.